Show Your Scars – Confronting the Beauty Myth
“Not all wounds need healing and not all scars are ugly” (The Lonely City, Olivia Laing)
We are living in an age that kneels at the altar of an symbol, the place the populace at massive prostrates itself ahead of good looks, coveting the projections of perfection that infiltrate our lives minute by way of minute, second by way of second. And all the whilst we feed an phantasm; that the flawless is actual, that symbol is a truth, that happiness is living in the easiest selfie.
And we all know that it’s bullshit. We know that the place we in fact are living in is the global of filters and fillers, of botox and airbrush, of veneers that coat with a skinny movie the truth of doubts, lack of confidence, and self-flagellation.
In every week the place every other easiest coupling disintegrates on the degree of worldwide media, we’re once more uncovered to the dismantling of the moderately crafted phantasm this is bought as fact.
The phantasm is strong; so tough that individuals are held to the requirements of the phantasm, without end working from the include of truth.
But what if lets create another truth? One wherein our scars undergo our good looks, our flaws expose the content material of our persona and our blemishes are worn as boldly as our mask.
Maybe I’m bizarre – good enough, I’ll dispense with the ‘maybe’, I’m obviously out of step with trendy existence – however I’ve by no means understood the obsession with obvious perfection and the never-ending quest for a good looks which to those eyes, shadowed as they could be underneath a unmarried heavy eyebrow, hides the forte inside which is living true good looks.
To this stressed – and occasionally bruised and battered thoughts – what intrigues, what draws, and in the long run what conjures up is the truth in the back of the masks, the scars that once uncovered expose the fact of existence’s hard-fought battles, and the wrinkles that hint the collected knowledge of our years.
In chasing the trendy fable of good looks and perfection I worry that we’re simply changing one type of harm with every other – paralyzing facial muscle groups and swelling lips in an try to evade the gnarled snatch of our growing old; making an attempt to outrun our inevitable decay. And in doing so we provide a fabricated global of Hello-esque bliss that bears little relation to the messy truth of existence for all folks; even the selected few that grace the ones shiny mag pages.
What if our good looks lies in our scars, in our decay? In the imperfections and wounds – each bodily and emotional – that expose the fact of our struggles and the contents of our persona? None folks can outwit nature and except we will include and recognize all of ourselves, in all of our easiest imperfection, we will be able to be compelled to put on a masks that hides what makes us actually distinctive, obscuring the good looks this is ours without reference to some created cultural perfect.
Why am I banging on about this? Well, the extra that point is going on the extra that I notice that perhaps ‘healing’ isn’t the solution when tending to our wounds. Painful existence reports form us and the scars continuously persist. Maybe the solution lies now not in in quest of to remove our hurts and imperfections, nor in hiding them away inside the inner most recesses of our imperfect selves.
Maybe it lies in accepting and discovering a approach to are living harmoniously with them; a approach to include them absolutely inside the package deal of our absolute best selves, with out contradiction, and with out feeling that during doing so we’re falling wanting all that we may well be.
I, like many others, put on tattoos that signify my struggles. To me they’re artworks that can without end constitute vital classes that existence has taught me; after I age and the pictures fade and warp what they signify will stay. These are my self-inflicted scars, an everlasting illustration of the wounds inside that they catalog. I put on them with pleasure, understanding the ache and hardship that went into their introduction, lengthy ahead of the needles pierced my pores and skin.
Wear your scars with pleasure, embrace absolutely what it’s to be what most effective you’ll be, and be pleased with the imperfections that make you, YOU. For it’s only there that fact and happiness shall be discovered.
Originally printed on Love, Laughter, Truth
The Good Men Project isn’t the same as maximum media firms. We are a “participatory media company”—because of this we don’t simply have content material you learn and proportion and touch upon but it surely approach we now have more than one techniques you’ll actively be part of the dialog. As you turn into a deeper a part of the dialog—The Conversation No One Else is Having—you are going to be informed all of the techniques we make stronger our Writers’ Community—group FB teams, weekly convention calls, categories in writing, enhancing platform construction and How to Create Social Change.
Here are extra techniques to turn into part of The Good Men Project group:
Request to sign up for our personal Facebook Group for Writers—it’s like our digital newsroom the place you connect to editors and different writers about problems and concepts.
Click right here to turn into a Premium Member of The Good Men Project Community. Have get entry to to those advantages:
- Get get entry to to an unique “Members Only” Group on Facebook
- Join our Social Interest Groups—weekly calls about subjects of hobby in as of late’s global
- View the website online with no commercials
- Get loose get entry to to categories, workshops, and unique occasions
- Be invited to an unique weekly “Call with the Publisher” with different Premium Members
- Commenting badge.
Are you caught on what to jot down? Sign up for our Writing Prompts emails, you’ll get concepts at once from our editors each Monday and Thursday. If you have already got a last draft, then click on beneath to ship your publish thru our submission gadget.
If you might be already running with an editor at GMP, please be sure you title that particular person. If you aren’t recently running with a GMP editor, one shall be assigned to you.
Are you a first-time contributor to The Good Men Project? Submit right here:
Have you contributed ahead of and feature a Submittable account? Use our Quick Submit hyperlink right here:
Do you will have up to now printed paintings that you simply wish to syndicate on The Good Men Project? Click right here:
Join our unique weekly “Call with the Publisher” — the place group individuals are inspired to speak about the problems with the week, get tale concepts, meet different individuals and get identified for his or her concepts? To get the call-in data, both sign up for as a member or wait till you get a publish printed with us. Here are some examples of what we discuss on the calls.
Want to be told sensible abilities about how one can be a greater Writer, Editor or Platform Builder? Want to be a Rising Star in Media? Want to learn to Create Social Change? We have categories in all of the ones spaces.
While you’re at it, get hooked up with our social media:
However, you have interaction with The Good Men Project—you’ll lend a hand lead this dialog about the converting roles of guys in the 21st century. Join us!
Do you wish to have to speak about how one can have richer, extra conscious, and enduring relationships?
We have pioneered the biggest international dialog about what it approach to be a just right guy in the 21st century. Your make stronger of our paintings is inspiring and priceless.
The Good Men Project is an Amazon.com associate. If you store by way of THIS LINK, we will be able to get a small fee and you are going to be supporting our Mission whilst nonetheless getting the high quality merchandise you may have bought, anyway! Thank you in your persevered make stronger!
fbq(‘monitor’, ‘Web pageView’);
(serve as(d, s, identification) (file, ‘script’, ‘facebook-jssdk’));