My insecurities always get the better of me. : DecidingToBeBetter
I’m making an attempt so laborious so so laborious. to be better
But I cant shake my insecurities.
I’m 27 and I simply see the whole lot I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have a riding license (even though I’m recently finding out tips on how to ) It’s not that i am a excellent prepare dinner ( I’m finding out) I’ve been sacked from my occupation ( I hated it anyway)
Although I attempt to counteract those detrimental ideas into the sure ones in the brackets the similar factor involves thoughts ‘ oh however you must know the way to try this by means of now, oh you’ll be able to by no means be excellent at riding.
It’s not that i am ‘existence sensible’ I’m a sluggish burner and I jus really feel like I’ve a foggy mind. To most sensible this off I’ve a protracted sickness.
I simply really feel like I’m needless and that my boyfriend will in the end get in poor health of me and rid of me. I’m simply a clumsy mess.
He does not know I have been laid off but as a result of I’m nonetheless soaking it in.
I simply wish to cry. Ive advised him he can get a divorce with me as a result of im this kind of legal responsibility and truthfully I wish to save him the hassle of being with an grownup kid like me. I see ladies more youthful, better, extra with existence than me and simply assume they’d make my boyfriend such a lot happier than I do.
I cant prevent listening to all the detrimental reviews other folks have had of me in my previous occupation.
TL;DR TRYING TO BE BETTER BUT I JUST DISLIKE MY SELF.