My best friend doesn’t like when I improve myself, what do I do? : DecidingToBeBetter
I could not stay it on one matter, I modified the identify such a lot of occasions and I’m rewriting this for the 4th time to be as quick as conceivable. He refers back to the occasions when I was once suicidal as the great previous days and desires me to drink once more even if my existence is healthier in actually each and every method since I’ve sobered up. I recall to mind him as my simplest in point of fact excellent friend even if I date other folks and feature a couple of pals however no superb pals but even so him. My primary causes I really feel there is a downside are those:
we giggle and funny story about in point of fact fucked up issues. We giggle and funny story about tactics we would kill ourselves, appeared funnier when I was once suicidal or giggle about in point of fact self deprecating humor about how terrible and nugatory we’re. Lots of alternative truthfully worse stuff to however I do not need to get into it. I simply do not need to be the individual I am round him in any respect. He’s my simplest in point of fact excellent friend, I have a couple of different pals however none who I can spend hours guffawing and joking with. Him and I may giggle for hours over probably the most mundane issues.
He is passionately in opposition to doing the rest to improve his existence. He compares other folks giving him recommendation to being like a hate crew. He says it is merciless as a result of it is the similar recommendation everybody offers and displays they do not perceive, I indicate it is recommendation he is by no means attempted and recommendation individuals who have felt depressing previously like myself have adopted and gotten higher.
He at all times needs to speak politics however doesn’t know it a lot in any respect. He says that each one my political beliefs are simply because I hate myself so I hate America as a result of I’m from there. Once inside one week he recognized as an anarcho syndicalist and a neoliberal centrist, he nonetheless can not outline both time period. He helps and passionately hates positive politicians with out with the ability to identify a unmarried coverage of theirs. His simplest quite constant political place is he in point of fact doesn’t like Muslims, this bothers me so much however I’ve given up and looking to persuade him. Even although I’ve begged him a couple of occasions to only no longer convey it up round me as a result of we disagree so strongly and at all times will.
he repeatedly needs reassurance. He is at all times asking is he is sexy and if he is unpleasant. I informed him I’m no longer going to respond to the ones questions anymore as a result of he has OCD and he thinks additionally BDD, they’re carefully similar, and I do not need to lend a hand him perform his compulsions. I attempt to get him to peer a therapist however he may not, he says they are able to’t make him higher having a look so there may be not anything they are able to do for him. He says no ones ever been drawn to him or ever will likely be even if he is been requested out earlier than.
he turns out to have very no interest in my issues. He’s fascinated with my existence however simplest in point of fact when I have some bizarre or comic story. He additionally expects me to hear him bitch for over an hour at a time, and I do.
I additionally like him so much. I do not need to make this simplest destructive. We have such a lot historical past and such a lot of within jokes that it other folks had been to listen to us communicate it truthfully would possibly sound like every other language utterly. He’s hilarious and does have a excellent middle however his insecurities get in the way in which every now and then. I do not consider he is hateful, even if he says many hateful issues. He at all times says he hates himself excess of he hates someone else. He’s been extra working out than most of the people I know when I began transitioning to feminine and he is additionally been extra working out than maximum of my previous drug addict pals about me getting sober, although no longer at all times.