I’ve done it before and desperately need to do it again but this time, I am terrified. : loseit
I misplaced 60 kilos a couple of years in the past and felt nice. I seemed nice. I didn’t even understand my dad used to be appearing an image of me to me and in truth went “omg that’s me! I was about to ask who that was!”
Then tension began slowly, and I imply slowly, began creeping again to me. Work. Home. Car. Animals. Computer. Relationship. Anything and the whole thing it’s essential to call to mind simply appeared to get started rolling down hill. I received all my weight again. That’s adequate, I can do it again.
Then April of final 12 months took place and it modified my lifestyles ceaselessly. I had a seizure on my kitchen ground for 7 mins. Then any other four weeks later. Then any other three months after that leading to an enormous automobile coincidence with a couple of damaged ribs and a part of my nostril ripped off (you’d by no means know by means of taking a look at me regardless that! I healed properly). And then two extra proper after one any other simply two weeks in the past. And I suppose I found out what’s inflicting them but I don’t move to my neuro till the next day to come.
I’m so stressed out and so unhappy and so disappointed all I do is devour and devour and devour and devour. And cry and cry and cry. I can’t prevent (sure I know I can but I’m a little of an emotional crisis ATM so I don’t need the reminders within the feedback). My anti seizure meds make me exhausted and unhappy as fuck but up to now they’ve labored. I used to be doing so excellent up till I had my final seizures. All my exams have come again customary. I’ve had extra blood paintings than I’ve ever had in my complete lifestyles and they can not to find the rest mistaken. At 350 kilos (final time I checked, up 70 from my easiest when I misplaced it final time) five’ nine” feminine and 30, my physician mentioned to me “according to your bloodwork you’re as healthy as someone half your weight, I just don’t know what’s wrong.”
I had simply gotten my license again too and used to be in search of a brand new automobile. I’m an worried mess. And going to remedy hasn’t labored for me, it makes me extra panicked (I used to be drugged and raped by means of a physician and haven’t any consider in them. It took me a number of neuros to to find the only I’m with now that I consider). I emotionally devour and I don’t know the way to prevent. I can’t let you know what my triggers are. I imply yeah I can say the most obvious of tension but I’ve all the time been ready to cope and it simply turns out up to now out of succeed in to me at the moment.
I don’t know if I’m requesting assist or am simply sulking nowadays.
I bet, for many who tension devour, how do you deal?
I do excellent for a pair days and then it’s like impulsively I see the meals and simply pound it down and have to inform myself to prevent. I by no means really feel complete, I simply really feel like I’ve were given this void that I’m attempting to fill and meals makes it really feel higher when not anything else does.