I am so scared of the future : DecidingToBeBetter
I completely suck at existence. I suck. I grew up with a mom telling me I’ll by no means quantity to a lot. I can’t do anything else proper. But at the identical time by no means ever let me have any independence. I have a well being situation now ( lupus ) recognized a couple of years in the past I need to are living at house when I did transfer out for a couple of years she reduce touch with me and up to she used to be poisonous it used to be higher than being with out circle of relatives ( so I moved again ). Probably led to by means of the bloody emotional pressure she has given me rising up. I can’t do anything else anything else anything else. I educated to do a truly decent profession ( instructor, secondary ) and I simply suck suck suck at it. I were given fired and am jobless from Monday.
I am, in some way, relieved as a result of I truly used to be beginning to realise it’s now not the profession for me. Problem is I am scared to inform my circle of relatives and my boyfriend. I can inform my boyfriend is beginning to realise what an incompetent loser I bloody am. I can’t force at my age I can’t do anything else. I am making an attempt so so so rattling exhausting. I move to the fitness center virtually each day, I do riding classes ( how am I even going to find the money for them anymore now ??! ) I am simply screwed and I need to cry. I love my boyfriend he’s wonderful however truthfully I really feel like I’m simply going to me an enormous large burden to his existence and he’s going to in the end depart my pointless ass.
Edit; please assist me.
Tl;dr my existence is a multitude regardless of how exhausting I take a look at